http://news.exopoliticsinstitute.org/index.php/european-parliament-issues-warnings-on-haarp/
http://chemtrailsmap.com/
http://unesdoc.unesco.org/images/0021/002144/214496e.pdf
http://www.skeptic.com/eskeptic/10-03-03/#feature
http://pentagon-data-links.blogspot.com/
http://oymireland.com/
http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=20369
Hi all,
I am sending you these links, as 99% of them are to do with Geo-engineering, Chemtrails and Haarp.
18 months ago, if you had presented these to me, I would have thought you mad. However, after 18 months of my own research and seeing Chemtrails with my own eyes, I now believe this is happening in our world.
What is tragic about Geo-engineering is that you and I, our families AND OUR CHILDREN are being adversely affected by the chemicals that are being sprayed from our skies. They are poisoning HUMAN BEING, the soil and our water supplies.
I am nobody, in that I am one human being. I do not have your power in our world, nor do I have influence, like you do.
All I know, is geo-engineering is immoral and wrong. It is killing you, me and our children. Yet, no one is doing a thing to prevent it!
When I was a child and learning about the 1st and 2nd world wars, I could not understand why the people of the day allowed these wars to happen. Now I know why! Apathy, ignorance and the killer, indifference! Well, I cannot be any of these human vices. Even if it means
danger to me personally.
You see, one day, I will meet my maker, just like you will and I truly want to stand before my maker and say, I did all I could do to make a positive difference in my world.
I can only do this, if I spread the information I have learnt in the last 18 months. Why am I doing this? Because I need to have a clear conscience that I did my best for me and
my fellow Human Beings, while I lived on Earth. I am not an important Human Being, in life’s terms. However, I am as important as every other Human Being to my maker.
Please don’t get me wrong here, I am not the most spiritual or religious of Human Beings, however, I do care and love the people of our world and the world God made for all of us.
You may already have decided I am a nut case and if you have, I am ok with that. I have ploughed a lonely furrow for the last 50 years of my life. I do not and have not followed “The Crowd”!
I am grateful I haven’t. I am grateful that God made me just as I am.
However, as you are in a position of power, my need is that you at least investigate Geo-engineering and why Geo-engineering is happening!
Plus and more importantly that you STOP geo-engineering happening over Ireland’s air space, like NOW!
I have a few theories as to why they are happening. However, you need to discover why, for yourself and to come to your own conclusions.
Even if one of these conclusions is that I am mad or whatever! In my truth, I question myself and what I’ve learnt, A LOT! However, the evidence on the internet cannot
all be wrong! Just read Revelations in the Bible. I am not a religious fanatic, but I do believe that it is the HUMAN BEING that is more IMPORTANT than money, position, status or
any such bull!
I would like to see my grandchildren, who have yet to be born. I am sure you would too. If you want health, safety and a fulfilling life for those you love, then look at these links.
Oh and by the way, the EU also has acknowledged the reality of Geo-engineering!
http://news.exopoliticsinstitute.org/index.php/european-parliament-issues-warnings-on-haarp/
Just in case you missed it above!
Also radiation from Fukushima is huge and you need to protect your children and your loved ones as best you can from this radiation and yourselves.
Please do your own research, don’t believe one word I’ve written here, if that is your need. Check out for yourself what is happening Globally.
Oh and we need to STOP paying the bondholders, like NOW! Please start looking at the big picture here!
Sincerely,
Trich
I sent the above email to these TD's;
Michael Noonan
Sean Barrett
Michael Conaghan
Micheál Martin
Aengus O'Snodaigh
Anthony Lawlor
Tom Hayes
Jonathan O'Brien
Pearse Doherty
Trevor O'Clochartaigh
Stephen Donnelly
Joe Higgins
Eamonn Gilmore
Vincent Gibbin
Willie O'Dea
Kevin Humphreys
Barry Cowen
Noel Coonan
Joan Collins
Alan Farrell
Finian McGrath
Robert Troy
And
Sandra.Markey@taoiseach.gov.ie
Monday, February 27, 2012
Sunday, February 5, 2012
United we stand, divided we fall and we are falling................
Hi all,
I started doing research when a tutor of mine mentioned 2012 way back in 2010. He said it was the coming of a world full of love. Before my graduation that year, I started digging. The more I dug, the more I found.
Now you know, I am all about love, but what I discovered, is not about love. (Having said that, go look at the last 3 links I’ll add to this letter for you).
It is my belief that the information we need to wake up is out there & all we need to do is to look for the information. By the way, waking up I discovered isn’t just about doing so psychologically & emotionally! It is about waking up to all expressions of self! Waking up is painful as it breaks down our own illusions about ourselves & what we believe to be true.
However, the truth will set you free. Albeit painful at times! I wouldn’t be sending you these links unless I thought & believed there was truth in them. Now I believe if we do not take positive, mature & peaceful action & unite,
we will go through even more hardship, than we are going through now. Just step back and look at what is happening Globally in the economic world. Unelected Goldman Sachs people are now in Government in Greece & Italy! WHY?
For that matter why are the Irish Government paying them huge consultancy fee’s when they are some of the bondholders?!?
This link is really for Barry & as I work in this area it is for me too!
http://www.politics.ie/news/senator-suggests-social-welfare-debit-card-only-usable-ireland-prevent-fraud-70.html
In my opinion, this will take the focus off the Gov.'s/Troika’s fraud of us! Think Police state, because social welfare fraud is NOT what they say it is. They use absurd figures that are makey uppy to get their figure of €600,000.00 fraud, seriously! Look at it logically, if there was that much fraud it means me and all my colleagues are not doing our job! Trust me, the majority of us are! Oh & Troika are behind this!
Scary! http://www.zetatalk.com/safelocs.pdf
Ditto http://www.european-council.europa.eu/media/579087/treaty.pdf
NB http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKoYxTN9VwU&feature=share
NB Dr. Nick Begich: HAARP, Secret Sciences & High Tech Mind Control 1/5 - YouTube
And NB too http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToxPiW_2RC8
Anonymous emails from air line staff http://loveforlife.com.au/content/07/06/27/chemtrails-two-emails-received-anonymously-airline-mechanic-and-airline-manager-bot
Their site http://www.weathermodification.com/
Economics http://kingworldnews.com/kingworldnews/KWN_DailyWeb/Entries/2012/2/2_Rob_Arnott_-_The_Coming_Inflation_is_Going_to_Destroy_Fortunes.html
Always a great read http://namawinelake.wordpress.com/2012/02/05/have-you-met-fine-gael-and-endas-new-buddy-buddy-creature/
Radiation http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2060469/Radiation-Europe-UN-nuclear-agency-mystified-soaring-levels.html
Radiation http://www.irishhealth.com/article.html?id=13960#.TywhNBCDy14.facebook
Vaccinations http://www.herald.ie/news/sleepy-children-failing-at-school-after-flu-vaccine-3009423.html
Swine Flu con http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV1IZVT_LCE
Interesting http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JQmvKpo1bQ&feature=share
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeZ3ovtF510&fb_source=message
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixTgEA43VhM&feature=share&fb_source=message
And did you know that a number of US Presidents are related to Queen Liz!
An Irish journalist http://www.voltairenet.org/In-Lybia-now-the-truth-is-coming
http://www.naturalnews.com/034875_Planned_Parenthood_Komen_breast_cancer.html
This is a good site Oh & start eating raw veg & even grow your own! Eat cherries & alkaline your bodies, these will assist your immune system to be stronger against the assault's our bodies are under. Organic Wheatgrass alkalises the body, but find out more about this yourselves.
Chemtrails, Haarp, Fluoridation of our water supply, vaccinations & the coming of monsanto seeds are to dumb us down & kill us off. These are the reasons for increased Autism, dementia, cancers, arthritis etc. Just look at all fizzy drinks & artificial sweeteners, they have a chemical in them called ASPARTAME. Break up this word and see the metaphor “As Par TAME” ! Don’t believe me, go do the research yourselves. I have spent the last 18 months researching this & it is time for action folks, because if we do not unite very soon, we will be very ill or dead!
I actually don’t mind if you all think I have gone mad, because I thought my own father mad for over 30 years when he spoke of the New World Order, I now believe him! In the last two days my research is bringing me to places that both scare me but also cause me to become angry, anger is my own bodies unique guide that will bring me into action for myself and I do need it’s energy! There seems to be a very strong relationship between the New World Order & the Nazi’s. Don’t shut down when you read this, question me, go seek out the truth for yourselves.
It was here I first looked & in a nut shell, there is to be 3 days of darkness this year, as there will be a pole shift. Ask yourself why someone would do the “zetatalk” paper, if there wasn’t some element of truth? Plus there are huge planet alignments this year. Go look for the evidence.
Kiesha Crowther habla sobre el 2012. SUBTITULADO EN ESPAñOL – YouTube
http://soundofheart.org/galacticfreepress/content/what-mayan-elders-say-about-2012
Also read the messages from Medjugorje
Medjugorje WebSite - Our Lady of Medjugorje Messages and Apparitions
I think it is the one dated the 25th September 2011 that says “Everything is falling apart” & it is.
There is a lot of information here, so take your time, as it may over whelm you.
I have been sending this information out for a long time now & it is not making a difference, in that no action is been taken. I’ve blogged about this
http://irishminx.blogspot.com/2012/01/drama-series-of-events-having-vivid.html
& I started an on-line meeting group, called The Gathering, so that we can take positive action for ourselves and it too is going no where! I’ve also written to Government & that has no impact whatsoever! I feel somewhat defeated, however, I know I now need to take action for myself. This will be the last email with links I will send to you all. (In truth, this is the first time some of you are getting these links!).
If any of you want to take your own action, here is a list of radio stations around Ireland, go spread it this way, if that is your choice!
RadioStationWorld - Ireland - Radio Station Websites
Mostly in my experience human beings are afraid to speak about this. This is THE BIG LIE folks, hence it is hard to believe. I know, I’ve lived it for 18 months now. I often question my own sanity, but why is there so much of this information out there
if this is a hoax? Why is there a Global financial crisis? Why did 9/11 happen? Why do the US want to now invade Iran? Why do the presidents of America & politicians & even the Pope last year talk about a New World Order? Ask yourself who gains from Global warming? Why we have little sunshine? Is it the 1% who will gain from all of this? Who are the 1%?
Would you believe this is not the way God intended the world to be! God did mean for us to wake up & shine our light of love. Now before your eyes really glaze over, I’ll finish. Please do look at these links & share this information.
Thank you all for being a unique part of my life, each of you has taught me much and for that I am grateful
For those of you who did show up to The Gathering meetings, thank you. I need to be clear here, The Gathering meetings have ended. (5 to 7 people showed up to the 2nd last meeting & 3 last Thursday night!).
My gratitude & sincere thanks to Joe @onlinmeetings (Twitter) & www.onlinmeetingrooms.com for hosting these meetings for free for me/us.
With love & hope,
Trich
P.S. This is an email I sent today.
I started doing research when a tutor of mine mentioned 2012 way back in 2010. He said it was the coming of a world full of love. Before my graduation that year, I started digging. The more I dug, the more I found.
Now you know, I am all about love, but what I discovered, is not about love. (Having said that, go look at the last 3 links I’ll add to this letter for you).
It is my belief that the information we need to wake up is out there & all we need to do is to look for the information. By the way, waking up I discovered isn’t just about doing so psychologically & emotionally! It is about waking up to all expressions of self! Waking up is painful as it breaks down our own illusions about ourselves & what we believe to be true.
However, the truth will set you free. Albeit painful at times! I wouldn’t be sending you these links unless I thought & believed there was truth in them. Now I believe if we do not take positive, mature & peaceful action & unite,
we will go through even more hardship, than we are going through now. Just step back and look at what is happening Globally in the economic world. Unelected Goldman Sachs people are now in Government in Greece & Italy! WHY?
For that matter why are the Irish Government paying them huge consultancy fee’s when they are some of the bondholders?!?
This link is really for Barry & as I work in this area it is for me too!
http://www.politics.ie/news/senator-suggests-social-welfare-debit-card-only-usable-ireland-prevent-fraud-70.html
In my opinion, this will take the focus off the Gov.'s/Troika’s fraud of us! Think Police state, because social welfare fraud is NOT what they say it is. They use absurd figures that are makey uppy to get their figure of €600,000.00 fraud, seriously! Look at it logically, if there was that much fraud it means me and all my colleagues are not doing our job! Trust me, the majority of us are! Oh & Troika are behind this!
Scary! http://www.zetatalk.com/safelocs.pdf
Ditto http://www.european-council.europa.eu/media/579087/treaty.pdf
NB http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKoYxTN9VwU&feature=share
NB Dr. Nick Begich: HAARP, Secret Sciences & High Tech Mind Control 1/5 - YouTube
And NB too http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToxPiW_2RC8
Anonymous emails from air line staff http://loveforlife.com.au/content/07/06/27/chemtrails-two-emails-received-anonymously-airline-mechanic-and-airline-manager-bot
Their site http://www.weathermodification.com/
Economics http://kingworldnews.com/kingworldnews/KWN_DailyWeb/Entries/2012/2/2_Rob_Arnott_-_The_Coming_Inflation_is_Going_to_Destroy_Fortunes.html
Always a great read http://namawinelake.wordpress.com/2012/02/05/have-you-met-fine-gael-and-endas-new-buddy-buddy-creature/
Radiation http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2060469/Radiation-Europe-UN-nuclear-agency-mystified-soaring-levels.html
Radiation http://www.irishhealth.com/article.html?id=13960#.TywhNBCDy14.facebook
Vaccinations http://www.herald.ie/news/sleepy-children-failing-at-school-after-flu-vaccine-3009423.html
Swine Flu con http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV1IZVT_LCE
Interesting http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JQmvKpo1bQ&feature=share
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeZ3ovtF510&fb_source=message
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixTgEA43VhM&feature=share&fb_source=message
And did you know that a number of US Presidents are related to Queen Liz!
An Irish journalist http://www.voltairenet.org/In-Lybia-now-the-truth-is-coming
http://www.naturalnews.com/034875_Planned_Parenthood_Komen_breast_cancer.html
This is a good site Oh & start eating raw veg & even grow your own! Eat cherries & alkaline your bodies, these will assist your immune system to be stronger against the assault's our bodies are under. Organic Wheatgrass alkalises the body, but find out more about this yourselves.
Chemtrails, Haarp, Fluoridation of our water supply, vaccinations & the coming of monsanto seeds are to dumb us down & kill us off. These are the reasons for increased Autism, dementia, cancers, arthritis etc. Just look at all fizzy drinks & artificial sweeteners, they have a chemical in them called ASPARTAME. Break up this word and see the metaphor “As Par TAME” ! Don’t believe me, go do the research yourselves. I have spent the last 18 months researching this & it is time for action folks, because if we do not unite very soon, we will be very ill or dead!
I actually don’t mind if you all think I have gone mad, because I thought my own father mad for over 30 years when he spoke of the New World Order, I now believe him! In the last two days my research is bringing me to places that both scare me but also cause me to become angry, anger is my own bodies unique guide that will bring me into action for myself and I do need it’s energy! There seems to be a very strong relationship between the New World Order & the Nazi’s. Don’t shut down when you read this, question me, go seek out the truth for yourselves.
It was here I first looked & in a nut shell, there is to be 3 days of darkness this year, as there will be a pole shift. Ask yourself why someone would do the “zetatalk” paper, if there wasn’t some element of truth? Plus there are huge planet alignments this year. Go look for the evidence.
Kiesha Crowther habla sobre el 2012. SUBTITULADO EN ESPAñOL – YouTube
http://soundofheart.org/galacticfreepress/content/what-mayan-elders-say-about-2012
Also read the messages from Medjugorje
Medjugorje WebSite - Our Lady of Medjugorje Messages and Apparitions
I think it is the one dated the 25th September 2011 that says “Everything is falling apart” & it is.
There is a lot of information here, so take your time, as it may over whelm you.
I have been sending this information out for a long time now & it is not making a difference, in that no action is been taken. I’ve blogged about this
http://irishminx.blogspot.com/2012/01/drama-series-of-events-having-vivid.html
& I started an on-line meeting group, called The Gathering, so that we can take positive action for ourselves and it too is going no where! I’ve also written to Government & that has no impact whatsoever! I feel somewhat defeated, however, I know I now need to take action for myself. This will be the last email with links I will send to you all. (In truth, this is the first time some of you are getting these links!).
If any of you want to take your own action, here is a list of radio stations around Ireland, go spread it this way, if that is your choice!
RadioStationWorld - Ireland - Radio Station Websites
Mostly in my experience human beings are afraid to speak about this. This is THE BIG LIE folks, hence it is hard to believe. I know, I’ve lived it for 18 months now. I often question my own sanity, but why is there so much of this information out there
if this is a hoax? Why is there a Global financial crisis? Why did 9/11 happen? Why do the US want to now invade Iran? Why do the presidents of America & politicians & even the Pope last year talk about a New World Order? Ask yourself who gains from Global warming? Why we have little sunshine? Is it the 1% who will gain from all of this? Who are the 1%?
Would you believe this is not the way God intended the world to be! God did mean for us to wake up & shine our light of love. Now before your eyes really glaze over, I’ll finish. Please do look at these links & share this information.
Thank you all for being a unique part of my life, each of you has taught me much and for that I am grateful
For those of you who did show up to The Gathering meetings, thank you. I need to be clear here, The Gathering meetings have ended. (5 to 7 people showed up to the 2nd last meeting & 3 last Thursday night!).
My gratitude & sincere thanks to Joe @onlinmeetings (Twitter) & www.onlinmeetingrooms.com for hosting these meetings for free for me/us.
With love & hope,
Trich
P.S. This is an email I sent today.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Poetry is part of the dance of life..........
Today I've decided to put up some of the poems I've written.
The first one I wrote in response to 9/11. I felt 9/11 brought me
to my knees, with the shock of what I saw on TV, I was in Barcelona that
day, when I received a text from my ex-husband to go & watch any TV station.
I wrote this poem a few months later, it is my response to 9/11 & indeed it
is true for any dishonouring, disrespectful & violent action that is bestowed on
any human being in our world. Paradoxically, it is true for honesty, kindness,
compassion & loving acts bestowed too.
I wrote this in Crookhaven, West Cork in 2001.
TO YOU AND ME!
I am you and you are me.
You and I make up the human chain.
Life sends us lessons.
Lessons, you and I need to learn.
But I deny and you deny.
'Tis the cancer that destroys, your soul and mine!
For I am you and you are me.
When I hate,
When I am full of anger,
When I am absolutely fearful and terrified,
When I declare war,
I bestow this on you!
For I am you and you are me.
When will I know,
That I am you and you are me?
If I hurt or kill you,
I hurt and kill me!
When will I know,
That you are me and I am you?
I will know when I choose to be you.
And you will know when you choose to be me.
When I admit to my denial, you will admit your denial.
When I am aware, you are aware,
That I am you and you are me!
Then life will have taught us peace and love.
OH JOY…………………….
I am you and you are me!
This one I wrote when I worked in Ballylickey Manor, Bantry, West Cork when I was 19 years old. I wrote it about the room that was my home in the summer of 1980.
The Walls of Silence
Together discussing favourite topics, between now familiar walls.
A room, where you feel relaxed, slowly discovering one another.
In a room you never knew.
A room full of other peoples memories,
yet the room tells no secrets.
If these walls could speak, imagine the stories they might tell.
Can these walls see us now?
Have the seen the people of long ago?
Will the see the people who have yet to enter?
Will history repeat itself between these walls of silence?
I hope yes, I hope not!
This next poem I wrote when I was 18 years old in Grange, Douglas, Co. Cork.I had
a big decision to make.........
The Decision
The decision has to be mine and only I can make it.
Does my whole future depend on this, my important decision?
Did you ever feel lost, lost in a maze, with low and heavy fog?
Did you feel unsure when you came to those crossroads and didn't know whether to
turn right or left or just go straight ahead?
'Tis I that am lost in this maze of life.
That is why I and only I can make my decision…….
My decision for the future.
This poem, I wrote when I was 18 too, again in Grange, Douglas, Co. Cork.
Lady in Black
The world, she is sleeping.
Except the lady in black.
The lady is alone on her island, so alone.
She longs for company, companionship that will not come.
Because the world, she is sleeping.
The company she longs for is that of a man, she met but twice.
Their first meeting was brief, but that of their second meeting was precious.
This meeting passed quickly, her memory of it beautiful.
The lady is confused and the answer she searches for is not there.
OR
She will not let it be known to herself.
Still, the world, she is sleeping.
This man, who is he? Where does he belong in her world?
She wants him near, to talk!
But all in vain, for he too is sleeping and is far away.
She remains alone, sitting on her island, in black, lost and unaware of the world that is sleeping.
Ironically in those days, I didn't wear black! But that's a whole other story!
I do hope you have enjoyed these?
The first one I wrote in response to 9/11. I felt 9/11 brought me
to my knees, with the shock of what I saw on TV, I was in Barcelona that
day, when I received a text from my ex-husband to go & watch any TV station.
I wrote this poem a few months later, it is my response to 9/11 & indeed it
is true for any dishonouring, disrespectful & violent action that is bestowed on
any human being in our world. Paradoxically, it is true for honesty, kindness,
compassion & loving acts bestowed too.
I wrote this in Crookhaven, West Cork in 2001.
TO YOU AND ME!
I am you and you are me.
You and I make up the human chain.
Life sends us lessons.
Lessons, you and I need to learn.
But I deny and you deny.
'Tis the cancer that destroys, your soul and mine!
For I am you and you are me.
When I hate,
When I am full of anger,
When I am absolutely fearful and terrified,
When I declare war,
I bestow this on you!
For I am you and you are me.
When will I know,
That I am you and you are me?
If I hurt or kill you,
I hurt and kill me!
When will I know,
That you are me and I am you?
I will know when I choose to be you.
And you will know when you choose to be me.
When I admit to my denial, you will admit your denial.
When I am aware, you are aware,
That I am you and you are me!
Then life will have taught us peace and love.
OH JOY…………………….
I am you and you are me!
This one I wrote when I worked in Ballylickey Manor, Bantry, West Cork when I was 19 years old. I wrote it about the room that was my home in the summer of 1980.
The Walls of Silence
Together discussing favourite topics, between now familiar walls.
A room, where you feel relaxed, slowly discovering one another.
In a room you never knew.
A room full of other peoples memories,
yet the room tells no secrets.
If these walls could speak, imagine the stories they might tell.
Can these walls see us now?
Have the seen the people of long ago?
Will the see the people who have yet to enter?
Will history repeat itself between these walls of silence?
I hope yes, I hope not!
This next poem I wrote when I was 18 years old in Grange, Douglas, Co. Cork.I had
a big decision to make.........
The Decision
The decision has to be mine and only I can make it.
Does my whole future depend on this, my important decision?
Did you ever feel lost, lost in a maze, with low and heavy fog?
Did you feel unsure when you came to those crossroads and didn't know whether to
turn right or left or just go straight ahead?
'Tis I that am lost in this maze of life.
That is why I and only I can make my decision…….
My decision for the future.
This poem, I wrote when I was 18 too, again in Grange, Douglas, Co. Cork.
Lady in Black
The world, she is sleeping.
Except the lady in black.
The lady is alone on her island, so alone.
She longs for company, companionship that will not come.
Because the world, she is sleeping.
The company she longs for is that of a man, she met but twice.
Their first meeting was brief, but that of their second meeting was precious.
This meeting passed quickly, her memory of it beautiful.
The lady is confused and the answer she searches for is not there.
OR
She will not let it be known to herself.
Still, the world, she is sleeping.
This man, who is he? Where does he belong in her world?
She wants him near, to talk!
But all in vain, for he too is sleeping and is far away.
She remains alone, sitting on her island, in black, lost and unaware of the world that is sleeping.
Ironically in those days, I didn't wear black! But that's a whole other story!
I do hope you have enjoyed these?
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Drama A series of events having vivid, conflicting elements that capture one's interest
I was going to do a political blog about the Global Financial Crisis, but I thought, you know what, at the end of the day politics is utter bull shit!
Money is an illusion. I’ll repeat that, MONEY IS AN ILLUSION.
Our purpose in this world is to LOVE & to be HAPPY. Both are our choice.
Because at the end of our days, all that will be important is that we loved, had good relationships with our loved ones and friends and that we laugh & have fun. Most importantly, we give thanks for all we have, and that we Love God, our neighbour AS ourselves. I honestly believe this.
http://www.ariseindiaforum.org/nurse-reveals-the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed/
God meant it to be simple. Look at the 10 commandments, if you lived by those rules and were mindful of the seven deadly sins, you’d die and be reborn as the soul you are in heaven. In my life, I’ve broken most of the 10 commandments, but I don’t think I’ve ever had a false God & I have not murdered anyone. Thank God. If I have a deadly sin, it is in the last year, I have been quite lazy! Or Sloth as it is in the seven deadly sins!
While on the 7 deadly sins, Greed on the part of the illuminati / Bilderburg Group / Troika is real. It isn’t the ordinary person, in the main who were greedy or who partied, it is the so called élite who are greedy & still party, at our expense. They do much worse too. But as they too have the media sown up, all we get on main stream media is propaganda. Now some of it on the internet ain’t great either! I’ve been burnt there too! If I had any wisdom to give on main stream media, I’d say, stop watching TV. It numbs you! Trust me on this, I was addicted to it! The élite actually control us by putting the worst fear in us, they threaten our safety! Please do look up the 9/11 truth documentary!
Over a year ago you will know if you are a regular reader to my blog, that I had a great need to educate myself on the economic state of our country. So I went off to Kilkeconomics, an economic bonanza of the who’s who in Ireland and abroad. Nearing the end of the 4 days or so I was there, I felt so over-whelmed by what I was hearing, I skipped a session.
In February last year, I went sick from work & I ended up being out of work for 7 & ½ months & I went down to ¼ pay. I job share you see. During that time, I did as much research as I could on what the feck was happening in our world. I looked at economic terrorists, http://www.infowars.com/economic-terrorists-thats-you/ I learnt what fractional reserve banking is. Google it! It ain’t pretty. I read about shell, the Niger Delta, Shell to Sea, the Vatican’s corruption, which I’d known about since reading the book God’s Banker! The oil & gas reserves off the Irish coast & that Providence is now off the Baltimore West Cork Coast! I learnt about Fracking, that a lot of our taxes are fraudulent, about being sovereign, about banking and about a lot of corruption!
I started watching Max Keiser http://rt.com/programs/keiser-report/ & I went to see Max in Dublin, & went to a few protests. Money as debt http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dc3sKwwAaCU&feature=share I looked up Medjugorje http://www.medjugorje.ws/ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-FvMvsnttc&feature=related The Mayan predictions /calendar http://soundofheart.org/galacticfreepress/content/what-mayan-elders-say-about-2012 all the predictions in fact! But a prediction is just that. Now don’t get me wrong, something will happen at the end of this year, but we human beings can change it, if we choose to. I looked up and read copious articles on Ireland’s economic demise and how Iceland are doing so much better than us and they burnt the banks and the bondholders. It is well known, I do not like what Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan & Monsanto are doing. They are part of the illuminati. I know they are creating the Global Financial Crisis for their own greedy end.
I looked up Haarp http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3GEEw3lcIw and the destruction it is doing to our world’s weather along with Chemtrails. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFpS1yVioLM&feature=share I followed all the earthquakes and found this massive volcano & they say if it blows it will take out most of Europe. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive/article-1342820/Vesuviuss-big-daddy-supervolcano-Campi-Flegrei-near-Naples-threatens-Europe.html
I followed Fukushima http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=fukushima%20update&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CC0QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffukushimaupdate.com%2F&ei=ofIJT-LDDJOxhAfml_mZCQ&usg=AFQjCNGjt3KPjMbLI2k6FduHOUQHdHvW_g&sig2=jhqC3gY5cv2VlHp7mp-yQQ and I know the radiation levels in Tokyo exceed Chernobyl! I saw how the big oil companies keep oil prices inflated & that there is technology out there where we don’t need oil. I read that very creative people made cars that run on water & a few of them are dead now! Look this up too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djDV_suycA8 and this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7PQG5weeHk and this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym5ZCUr8bEY&feature=share and this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OaM12UIeVA
I’ve read and researched so much & then I hit a bigger wall! I went through a period of being terrified of all the evil that is going on in our world. Then I’d start again and read more. I am a Twitter & facebook information junky! I became anxious and fearful again, I wasn’t sleeping! Plus there was a lot going on in my work life! Which, to this day, has not being resolved!
Then last August, I realised something so simple, MONEY IS AN ILLUSION. You have no idea what freedom this has given to me. Now don’t get me wrong, I use money to buy food, fuel & pay some of my bills, because for now I am in a system where money is used. I don’t have a lot of it, in truth. And I am grateful for that, because I won’t have much to lose, when the crash comes. For the financial crash is coming. It is just a question of when. I predict between now and Easter, possibly mid April. I might as well throw in my own lol!! The world can actually function without money folks! I went to a debt conference and there were 31 or 32 people in the room & the total debt between us was €60 MILLION! I realised then, we are fucked as a country, if this is a microcosm view of Ireland's debt! To clarify, my debt was the smallest, thank God!
What I don’t get is this, why the Irish Government are buying into all of this crap, there is only one answer, there is a gain in it for them. There is always a gain to stay asleep or in denial. It is our great protector, to a point!
Look this up http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwpUYogeSwI&feature=share This is good too http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-1nSnlBdR0
I felt I needed to do something, so I set up #TheGathering which is an online meeting hosted by @onlinemeetings. This is the original invitation.
The Gathering Thursday the 8th December 2011 8 PM to 9 PM On line, Live Stream, Hosted by,
Irish Debate Onlinemeetingrooms.com @onlinemeetings
I have organised a live stream forum with Irish Debate on the above date & time.
The aim of this forum is to unite groups & individuals in Ireland to share experiences & information, but above all, it is an opportunity for us to unite & take positive peaceful mature action for ourselves & our communities.
Why? Because the need to ease the financial struggles of what life has become in Ireland, is needed now! To be a strong voice, my need is that we unite & I hope this is your need too.
I will post the link to you later this week. This forum is by invitation only, as this live free stream can only host 50 people. We can discuss a bigger forum, if needed, on the night.
No politicians or their cohorts will be invited.
I wish to state, I feel it is very important that as individuals and groups, that we unite, while maintaining our individuality. My need is that you respect this & each other on the night.
BTW you will need head phones to participate & a computer camera, latter not necessary. You will need fast broadband.
If you cannot make it on the night, please let me know, as I can invite someone else.
Yours most sincerely,
My aim in doing this, is to take action for ourselves by way of a mortgage strike, I think we need to bring the banks to their collective knees as this is what they are doing to Human Beings.
Our next meeting is next Thursday the 12th January. I’ve met up with a guy called Barry who along with others want to start a financial strike. Also a few ladies on Twitter want to go to the Labour party conference in Galway this year to voice their protest peacefully, at what the Government are doing to us human beings in Ireland. As you may be aware, there is to be another budget soon.
My point in writing this blog is this. It is now the time for us all to unite. It is time for us all to go back to our basic values. To love yourselves because the degree to which you love self is the degree to which you love another. It is vital to love God. Look at the earth he has given us, look at the beauty of Earth, it will tell you how much you are loved more than I ever could. Give thanks for all you have and send the earth, your family, friends & especially those who treat you badly, LOVE. http://www.ted.com/talks/ric_elias.html#.TwgrSkSH96l.facebook
In the days ahead, do grow your own food, store enough organic seeds, read all about the wonderful benefits of herbs, berries & even weeds! Educate yourself on storing water for example. http://webecoist.momtastic.com/2008/09/30/most-powerful-potent-medicinal-medical-plants-in-nature/ & http://www.richardcassaro.com/the-ancient-doctrine-of-signatures-suppressed-by-the-elite
Now is the time that we look after each other & to unite together with God or your higher being.
Remember this you could not treat another human being badly, if you loved who you are! If you pray, continue to do so, the world needs all our prayers right now. And do trust God.
In conclusion, this whole Global Financial Crisis is a drama, when someone plays out a drama in your life, trust me, they are hiding something! Ask yourself what are the so called elite hiding from us!
Much love to you & yours, Trich.
Money is an illusion. I’ll repeat that, MONEY IS AN ILLUSION.
Our purpose in this world is to LOVE & to be HAPPY. Both are our choice.
Because at the end of our days, all that will be important is that we loved, had good relationships with our loved ones and friends and that we laugh & have fun. Most importantly, we give thanks for all we have, and that we Love God, our neighbour AS ourselves. I honestly believe this.
http://www.ariseindiaforum.org/nurse-reveals-the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed/
God meant it to be simple. Look at the 10 commandments, if you lived by those rules and were mindful of the seven deadly sins, you’d die and be reborn as the soul you are in heaven. In my life, I’ve broken most of the 10 commandments, but I don’t think I’ve ever had a false God & I have not murdered anyone. Thank God. If I have a deadly sin, it is in the last year, I have been quite lazy! Or Sloth as it is in the seven deadly sins!
While on the 7 deadly sins, Greed on the part of the illuminati / Bilderburg Group / Troika is real. It isn’t the ordinary person, in the main who were greedy or who partied, it is the so called élite who are greedy & still party, at our expense. They do much worse too. But as they too have the media sown up, all we get on main stream media is propaganda. Now some of it on the internet ain’t great either! I’ve been burnt there too! If I had any wisdom to give on main stream media, I’d say, stop watching TV. It numbs you! Trust me on this, I was addicted to it! The élite actually control us by putting the worst fear in us, they threaten our safety! Please do look up the 9/11 truth documentary!
Over a year ago you will know if you are a regular reader to my blog, that I had a great need to educate myself on the economic state of our country. So I went off to Kilkeconomics, an economic bonanza of the who’s who in Ireland and abroad. Nearing the end of the 4 days or so I was there, I felt so over-whelmed by what I was hearing, I skipped a session.
In February last year, I went sick from work & I ended up being out of work for 7 & ½ months & I went down to ¼ pay. I job share you see. During that time, I did as much research as I could on what the feck was happening in our world. I looked at economic terrorists, http://www.infowars.com/economic-terrorists-thats-you/ I learnt what fractional reserve banking is. Google it! It ain’t pretty. I read about shell, the Niger Delta, Shell to Sea, the Vatican’s corruption, which I’d known about since reading the book God’s Banker! The oil & gas reserves off the Irish coast & that Providence is now off the Baltimore West Cork Coast! I learnt about Fracking, that a lot of our taxes are fraudulent, about being sovereign, about banking and about a lot of corruption!
I started watching Max Keiser http://rt.com/programs/keiser-report/ & I went to see Max in Dublin, & went to a few protests. Money as debt http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dc3sKwwAaCU&feature=share I looked up Medjugorje http://www.medjugorje.ws/ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-FvMvsnttc&feature=related The Mayan predictions /calendar http://soundofheart.org/galacticfreepress/content/what-mayan-elders-say-about-2012 all the predictions in fact! But a prediction is just that. Now don’t get me wrong, something will happen at the end of this year, but we human beings can change it, if we choose to. I looked up and read copious articles on Ireland’s economic demise and how Iceland are doing so much better than us and they burnt the banks and the bondholders. It is well known, I do not like what Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan & Monsanto are doing. They are part of the illuminati. I know they are creating the Global Financial Crisis for their own greedy end.
I looked up Haarp http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3GEEw3lcIw and the destruction it is doing to our world’s weather along with Chemtrails. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFpS1yVioLM&feature=share I followed all the earthquakes and found this massive volcano & they say if it blows it will take out most of Europe. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive/article-1342820/Vesuviuss-big-daddy-supervolcano-Campi-Flegrei-near-Naples-threatens-Europe.html
I followed Fukushima http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=fukushima%20update&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CC0QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffukushimaupdate.com%2F&ei=ofIJT-LDDJOxhAfml_mZCQ&usg=AFQjCNGjt3KPjMbLI2k6FduHOUQHdHvW_g&sig2=jhqC3gY5cv2VlHp7mp-yQQ and I know the radiation levels in Tokyo exceed Chernobyl! I saw how the big oil companies keep oil prices inflated & that there is technology out there where we don’t need oil. I read that very creative people made cars that run on water & a few of them are dead now! Look this up too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djDV_suycA8 and this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7PQG5weeHk and this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym5ZCUr8bEY&feature=share and this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OaM12UIeVA
I’ve read and researched so much & then I hit a bigger wall! I went through a period of being terrified of all the evil that is going on in our world. Then I’d start again and read more. I am a Twitter & facebook information junky! I became anxious and fearful again, I wasn’t sleeping! Plus there was a lot going on in my work life! Which, to this day, has not being resolved!
Then last August, I realised something so simple, MONEY IS AN ILLUSION. You have no idea what freedom this has given to me. Now don’t get me wrong, I use money to buy food, fuel & pay some of my bills, because for now I am in a system where money is used. I don’t have a lot of it, in truth. And I am grateful for that, because I won’t have much to lose, when the crash comes. For the financial crash is coming. It is just a question of when. I predict between now and Easter, possibly mid April. I might as well throw in my own lol!! The world can actually function without money folks! I went to a debt conference and there were 31 or 32 people in the room & the total debt between us was €60 MILLION! I realised then, we are fucked as a country, if this is a microcosm view of Ireland's debt! To clarify, my debt was the smallest, thank God!
What I don’t get is this, why the Irish Government are buying into all of this crap, there is only one answer, there is a gain in it for them. There is always a gain to stay asleep or in denial. It is our great protector, to a point!
Look this up http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwpUYogeSwI&feature=share This is good too http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-1nSnlBdR0
I felt I needed to do something, so I set up #TheGathering which is an online meeting hosted by @onlinemeetings. This is the original invitation.
The Gathering Thursday the 8th December 2011 8 PM to 9 PM On line, Live Stream, Hosted by,
Irish Debate Onlinemeetingrooms.com @onlinemeetings
I have organised a live stream forum with Irish Debate on the above date & time.
The aim of this forum is to unite groups & individuals in Ireland to share experiences & information, but above all, it is an opportunity for us to unite & take positive peaceful mature action for ourselves & our communities.
Why? Because the need to ease the financial struggles of what life has become in Ireland, is needed now! To be a strong voice, my need is that we unite & I hope this is your need too.
I will post the link to you later this week. This forum is by invitation only, as this live free stream can only host 50 people. We can discuss a bigger forum, if needed, on the night.
No politicians or their cohorts will be invited.
I wish to state, I feel it is very important that as individuals and groups, that we unite, while maintaining our individuality. My need is that you respect this & each other on the night.
BTW you will need head phones to participate & a computer camera, latter not necessary. You will need fast broadband.
If you cannot make it on the night, please let me know, as I can invite someone else.
Yours most sincerely,
My aim in doing this, is to take action for ourselves by way of a mortgage strike, I think we need to bring the banks to their collective knees as this is what they are doing to Human Beings.
Our next meeting is next Thursday the 12th January. I’ve met up with a guy called Barry who along with others want to start a financial strike. Also a few ladies on Twitter want to go to the Labour party conference in Galway this year to voice their protest peacefully, at what the Government are doing to us human beings in Ireland. As you may be aware, there is to be another budget soon.
My point in writing this blog is this. It is now the time for us all to unite. It is time for us all to go back to our basic values. To love yourselves because the degree to which you love self is the degree to which you love another. It is vital to love God. Look at the earth he has given us, look at the beauty of Earth, it will tell you how much you are loved more than I ever could. Give thanks for all you have and send the earth, your family, friends & especially those who treat you badly, LOVE. http://www.ted.com/talks/ric_elias.html#.TwgrSkSH96l.facebook
In the days ahead, do grow your own food, store enough organic seeds, read all about the wonderful benefits of herbs, berries & even weeds! Educate yourself on storing water for example. http://webecoist.momtastic.com/2008/09/30/most-powerful-potent-medicinal-medical-plants-in-nature/ & http://www.richardcassaro.com/the-ancient-doctrine-of-signatures-suppressed-by-the-elite
Now is the time that we look after each other & to unite together with God or your higher being.
Remember this you could not treat another human being badly, if you loved who you are! If you pray, continue to do so, the world needs all our prayers right now. And do trust God.
In conclusion, this whole Global Financial Crisis is a drama, when someone plays out a drama in your life, trust me, they are hiding something! Ask yourself what are the so called elite hiding from us!
Much love to you & yours, Trich.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
No, I am not following my Passion or Passions!
In my life I have been passionate about people in the main. Before my children arrived, I was passionate about radio, namely pirate radio and when the girls were in their mid teens, I went back to hospital radio for 5 years.
The longest passion I’ve had is writing, I was always writing. I practiced making my penmanship creative & unique to me. It is all of these things. I have many diaries since my teens & while the girls were growing up.
I was passionate about the girls Dad too................. But that was fado fado.
I suppose my greatest passions were and are my children, who are all grown up now & living their own lives. As nature intends I am not as involved in their lives as I once was and rightly so.
I am also passionate when I dance, but I don’t dance anymore! Dancing for me is the vertical expression of love making. Even if that is with myself, when I dance alone.
This morning, I opened my first email and read a reply from the author of a blog, I had commented on.
“Greg Canty commented on Are you following your passion?.
in response to irishminx:
Brilliant post Greg……
thanks for the positive feedback Trich - can I ask the question .... are you following your passion?”
What a challenging question to read first thing in the morning......... I honestly replied via email that no, I am not following my passion. In fact, I am not sure what my passion is anymore!
Hence this blog in an attempt to find out what is it I am passionate about. But first, I need to explore with you what I was and am passionate about in my life.
I am & always have been passionate about asking questions, it can drive other people nuts, but if I don’t understand something, my need is to seek to understand. So I question until I understand. Plus there are times, I won’t accept what someone else says and go off and find out for myself, much to those who love me, annoyance!
Honesty is another passion I have. In a world where honesty is not valued, this has often gotten me into trouble, which sounds paradoxical, doesn’t it! A lot of people do not like truth. But you know, lies hurt more than truth in my own experience. My motto is this, “I can deal with what I know; I cannot deal with what I don’t know.” Lies make me feel as though I am on quicksand & I am the one sinking & trust me, that is not a pleasant place to be.
As a child, I was passionate about God. I absolutely believe that my belief in God’s LOVE for me, is the main factor that kept me safe & sane. However, at the moment, I am going through what I can only describe as a barren phase, in that I am finding it quite difficult to pray. Mass is out of the question, I didn’t even go on Christmas day! Not that I am a regular mass goer, I am not. However, when I make the effort to go, I love Mass and receiving Holy Communion. I even love Confession! I absolutely believe in the power of prayer. When I was either 19 or 20, I went away for a weekend to look at being a nun! On the Sunday, the head Nun and a priest were giving us a talk, when I piped up with, “I don’t believe I can be a nun, as I know, I would want to have sex and not having it, seems a very bleak existence!” The priest replied, “Now I am glad you brought that up Trich”..... Needless to say, his response did not make a difference to me :) I do love God & I know he loves me unconditionally and that is not personal to me, as God loves us all unconditionally. I’ve just realised that maybe I am behaving like a rebellious teenager with God right now, in that, I want some sign from him/her of how much he/r loves me!! Jeez, I better ponder on this some more!
Believe it or not, there are time gaps when I write, as I go off to Twitter, facebook and look at my emails. So just believe me when I say, this actually happened near the end of me writing this blog please.
Well, looking at an email from a very new correspondent to me, a wee while ago, a gentle truth struck me. This guy has been sending me THE most beautiful photo’s for the past few days that he himself has taken. The guy has to have wonderfully beautiful eyes, as the absolute beauty, he captures in those photographs are stunning. I actually cried looking at these photographs last night and told him so in an email. Then he sent me two beautiful pieces of music that I hadn’t heard before. Both were musical pieces, one called Tender Devotion & the other....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFQQsu6VBYA
Just look at the conductor, it’s looks like he is making love to this music. :) I loved both pieces of music. Then in-between writing this, I’d wander off somewhere else & this lovely gentleman sent me another email. It was then I saw. (Now you may think I am mad, but this is my truth), I saw gently that this man was showing me and allowing me to hear beauty, in what he was sending me. God has many ways of showing us he loves us and one of those ways is the beautiful world he created for us. I was looking for a sign that God really did still love me & there it was, in the form of a kind man, whom I have not met, sending me beauty. Truly, I am in awe. (Say this gently please).
Now back to the original blog.....
Sometime later in my young life, I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want sex, however, I did want to make love with a man & I wanted him to make love with me. To this day, I still feel the same way, which makes one night stands rare in my life! ( I am human too ) :) I’ve had many offers of “Come on Trich, lets have a Fuck or a Shag”. This is THE greatest turn off for me and I smile & say NO Thanks! I don’t believe this is something that I am boasting about, by the way.
I do though, love to make love & if the object of my affection is a good kisser, WOW! Because I am a great kisser & I miss both when I am single. I love to tease & flirt, it builds anticipation in my head & man you cannot get a better aphrodisiac to my mind! It starts in the head with me :) The biggest single issue I have, is that there are so few men I am attracted to & if I am, they tend to be in a relationship thereby ending the attraction for me. :) I need to stop here, as I do intend to do a separate blog about sex & sexuality some day..................
Suffice to say, I am passionate about making love.
At 18 years old, I discovered psychology and I believe it is what has helped & guided me throughout my life. Psychology seeks to understand human behaviour and many many years later, I learned that ALL behaviour is wise. Our own behaviour mirror’s for us, what is going on inside of us, if we only took heed. When you perceive a child to be bold, it isn’t that they wish to make your life difficult, rather it is, they are showing you, how difficult their life is for them! It makes sense really, when you think about it and if children do this, well you know, we are big children and the same applies to us. I could go on about psychology, because I do love it, but I am under pressure time wise now. Not only have I read a lot of psychology books, I have also spent 5 years studying it in both Maynooth College & UCC twice. Because I needed to heal me!
I am passionate about sharing good information too. (As all my friends, Twitter & facebook pals know!) This along with my asking questions & the fact that I am passionate about people brought me into the job I do now & have done since 1992. My job is to listen, to hear a person’s need, to ask copious questions & to give people sound advice and very often money. If I don’t know the answer to something, I’ll go and find out & later relay that information to that person. One of the most important aspects of my work, as I see it, is to enable people to help themselves. On the QT I will also bring in my relationship mentoring skills. It is quite often needed in the work I do. It is not something I broadcast; I tend to do it whenever the need arises and it does arise now more than ever before. However, the powers that be have changed a lot in our work, in the last number of years. Then about three & a half years ago, something major happened in work and it was after that, that I stopped listening to them. I may blog about this sometime soon! And while I still love doing clinics, I do not like the rest of my work anymore! And more especially since Troika have brain washed the majority of the “power heads”. But I won’t do political just now! Yep, that too is another blog ;)
I started this blog telling you I love radio & writing. I have three books on the go that I have not touched in about 5 or 6 years! When I write, it is such a natural high and I feel this too when my signature tune starts to play at the beginning of one of my radio shows. No matter how I feel before the radio show starts, when Bitter Sweet Samba by Herb Alpert starts playing, I am all buzzed up on a natural high.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LV50GNmTV6I
The picture is clear, isn’t it?
Plus, I’d love nothing more right now than to do a radio show on relationship mentoring. I think the world’s people need to hear, that THE most important relationship is with yourself & God. Every other relationship I have depends totally on the relationship I have with myself! My truth is this too, when I pray and have a close relationship with God, I am a happier being. I haven’t felt happy for about a month now & I miss it. Around the same time, I stopped praying!
My only ambition in life is this.......... I want to be who God made me to be. And I think I am not doing this.
Big changes ahead huh!
What a fecking challenge Greg!
And Georg, Thank you :)
The longest passion I’ve had is writing, I was always writing. I practiced making my penmanship creative & unique to me. It is all of these things. I have many diaries since my teens & while the girls were growing up.
I was passionate about the girls Dad too................. But that was fado fado.
I suppose my greatest passions were and are my children, who are all grown up now & living their own lives. As nature intends I am not as involved in their lives as I once was and rightly so.
I am also passionate when I dance, but I don’t dance anymore! Dancing for me is the vertical expression of love making. Even if that is with myself, when I dance alone.
This morning, I opened my first email and read a reply from the author of a blog, I had commented on.
“Greg Canty commented on Are you following your passion?.
in response to irishminx:
Brilliant post Greg……
thanks for the positive feedback Trich - can I ask the question .... are you following your passion?”
What a challenging question to read first thing in the morning......... I honestly replied via email that no, I am not following my passion. In fact, I am not sure what my passion is anymore!
Hence this blog in an attempt to find out what is it I am passionate about. But first, I need to explore with you what I was and am passionate about in my life.
I am & always have been passionate about asking questions, it can drive other people nuts, but if I don’t understand something, my need is to seek to understand. So I question until I understand. Plus there are times, I won’t accept what someone else says and go off and find out for myself, much to those who love me, annoyance!
Honesty is another passion I have. In a world where honesty is not valued, this has often gotten me into trouble, which sounds paradoxical, doesn’t it! A lot of people do not like truth. But you know, lies hurt more than truth in my own experience. My motto is this, “I can deal with what I know; I cannot deal with what I don’t know.” Lies make me feel as though I am on quicksand & I am the one sinking & trust me, that is not a pleasant place to be.
As a child, I was passionate about God. I absolutely believe that my belief in God’s LOVE for me, is the main factor that kept me safe & sane. However, at the moment, I am going through what I can only describe as a barren phase, in that I am finding it quite difficult to pray. Mass is out of the question, I didn’t even go on Christmas day! Not that I am a regular mass goer, I am not. However, when I make the effort to go, I love Mass and receiving Holy Communion. I even love Confession! I absolutely believe in the power of prayer. When I was either 19 or 20, I went away for a weekend to look at being a nun! On the Sunday, the head Nun and a priest were giving us a talk, when I piped up with, “I don’t believe I can be a nun, as I know, I would want to have sex and not having it, seems a very bleak existence!” The priest replied, “Now I am glad you brought that up Trich”..... Needless to say, his response did not make a difference to me :) I do love God & I know he loves me unconditionally and that is not personal to me, as God loves us all unconditionally. I’ve just realised that maybe I am behaving like a rebellious teenager with God right now, in that, I want some sign from him/her of how much he/r loves me!! Jeez, I better ponder on this some more!
Believe it or not, there are time gaps when I write, as I go off to Twitter, facebook and look at my emails. So just believe me when I say, this actually happened near the end of me writing this blog please.
Well, looking at an email from a very new correspondent to me, a wee while ago, a gentle truth struck me. This guy has been sending me THE most beautiful photo’s for the past few days that he himself has taken. The guy has to have wonderfully beautiful eyes, as the absolute beauty, he captures in those photographs are stunning. I actually cried looking at these photographs last night and told him so in an email. Then he sent me two beautiful pieces of music that I hadn’t heard before. Both were musical pieces, one called Tender Devotion & the other....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFQQsu6VBYA
Just look at the conductor, it’s looks like he is making love to this music. :) I loved both pieces of music. Then in-between writing this, I’d wander off somewhere else & this lovely gentleman sent me another email. It was then I saw. (Now you may think I am mad, but this is my truth), I saw gently that this man was showing me and allowing me to hear beauty, in what he was sending me. God has many ways of showing us he loves us and one of those ways is the beautiful world he created for us. I was looking for a sign that God really did still love me & there it was, in the form of a kind man, whom I have not met, sending me beauty. Truly, I am in awe. (Say this gently please).
Now back to the original blog.....
Sometime later in my young life, I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want sex, however, I did want to make love with a man & I wanted him to make love with me. To this day, I still feel the same way, which makes one night stands rare in my life! ( I am human too ) :) I’ve had many offers of “Come on Trich, lets have a Fuck or a Shag”. This is THE greatest turn off for me and I smile & say NO Thanks! I don’t believe this is something that I am boasting about, by the way.
I do though, love to make love & if the object of my affection is a good kisser, WOW! Because I am a great kisser & I miss both when I am single. I love to tease & flirt, it builds anticipation in my head & man you cannot get a better aphrodisiac to my mind! It starts in the head with me :) The biggest single issue I have, is that there are so few men I am attracted to & if I am, they tend to be in a relationship thereby ending the attraction for me. :) I need to stop here, as I do intend to do a separate blog about sex & sexuality some day..................
Suffice to say, I am passionate about making love.
At 18 years old, I discovered psychology and I believe it is what has helped & guided me throughout my life. Psychology seeks to understand human behaviour and many many years later, I learned that ALL behaviour is wise. Our own behaviour mirror’s for us, what is going on inside of us, if we only took heed. When you perceive a child to be bold, it isn’t that they wish to make your life difficult, rather it is, they are showing you, how difficult their life is for them! It makes sense really, when you think about it and if children do this, well you know, we are big children and the same applies to us. I could go on about psychology, because I do love it, but I am under pressure time wise now. Not only have I read a lot of psychology books, I have also spent 5 years studying it in both Maynooth College & UCC twice. Because I needed to heal me!
I am passionate about sharing good information too. (As all my friends, Twitter & facebook pals know!) This along with my asking questions & the fact that I am passionate about people brought me into the job I do now & have done since 1992. My job is to listen, to hear a person’s need, to ask copious questions & to give people sound advice and very often money. If I don’t know the answer to something, I’ll go and find out & later relay that information to that person. One of the most important aspects of my work, as I see it, is to enable people to help themselves. On the QT I will also bring in my relationship mentoring skills. It is quite often needed in the work I do. It is not something I broadcast; I tend to do it whenever the need arises and it does arise now more than ever before. However, the powers that be have changed a lot in our work, in the last number of years. Then about three & a half years ago, something major happened in work and it was after that, that I stopped listening to them. I may blog about this sometime soon! And while I still love doing clinics, I do not like the rest of my work anymore! And more especially since Troika have brain washed the majority of the “power heads”. But I won’t do political just now! Yep, that too is another blog ;)
I started this blog telling you I love radio & writing. I have three books on the go that I have not touched in about 5 or 6 years! When I write, it is such a natural high and I feel this too when my signature tune starts to play at the beginning of one of my radio shows. No matter how I feel before the radio show starts, when Bitter Sweet Samba by Herb Alpert starts playing, I am all buzzed up on a natural high.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LV50GNmTV6I
The picture is clear, isn’t it?
Plus, I’d love nothing more right now than to do a radio show on relationship mentoring. I think the world’s people need to hear, that THE most important relationship is with yourself & God. Every other relationship I have depends totally on the relationship I have with myself! My truth is this too, when I pray and have a close relationship with God, I am a happier being. I haven’t felt happy for about a month now & I miss it. Around the same time, I stopped praying!
My only ambition in life is this.......... I want to be who God made me to be. And I think I am not doing this.
Big changes ahead huh!
What a fecking challenge Greg!
And Georg, Thank you :)
Friday, December 30, 2011
A Painful December 2011
I don’t remember ever been the scorned woman, until recently, that is! I did not react well. But the b*st*rd deserved it. After dating for 3 years, albeit on & off, he went off with a woman & didn’t turn up to my birthday party last summer. He lied about this constantly. Over a month later, I found the naked photos of her & emails from her to him & his to her etc. on his computer. I was shocked, but not surprised. He tried to lie again about it, until I gave him a verbatim on the text & photo’s. I exit with my dignity intact, who needs a blood sucker & a liar like this! I didn’t.
Roll on four months, I meet him and as he hugs me in my car, he opens my bra too! I was not impressed. It reminds me, he has no boundaries, so after a number of expletives, I calm down. He went his way & I went mine, an hour later, I receive a text to say he left his Bluetooth in my car! How & where? I’m briefly confused, and then realise, this is his way, and he reminds me of the plant that catch’s flies. Later we meet & the last thing he says is, “We could fix this you know, if we worked hard at it”. I drive away.
Three days later, I am in his home. We have dinner & drinks, I cried a lot about the shitty ending we had and the hurt I felt. It really is the most I have cried since August! I ask him if he sees her, “About once a month”, he says, “But I don’t want a relationship with her & she doesn’t want one with me”. So I say, “You’re not dating then”? “No”, he says. So I go to the guest room & he follows, his love making is so familiar. The next morning we are intimate again & he goes to work. He comes home and we eat, but he isn’t sparking. He says, she says, “If you make love with her, I will be hurt”, so he says to me, “Think I’ll stick with plan A”. I didn’t need to ask what plan A is, he was going to lie to her and or, already had.
I had a meeting, so I went to do that. When it was over, a half an hour later, he went to his bed. Soon afterwards, I crept in silently to get my slippers. Creeping back out of his room, he sits up & starts chatting. “I thought you were asleep”, I say. “No”, he says. I then asked what he meant by the last thing he said last Sunday, he says, I didn’t mean anything by it”. So I ask him, "Why say it then?” and he just shrugs. I walk out of the room & go downstairs to make a phone call. Then I go to the office & spend time there and as it is time for bed, I head off to the main bathroom to take my make up off & brush my teeth, as you do. When I am almost finished, he comes in to the main bathroom, ignoring his en suite & uses the lavatory. After he washes his hands, he takes my hand and brings me to his bedroom. We make love again. But the smell of sex from his sheets is vile. Afterwards, he says, “She wanted to know why you were rooting today.” “I don’t root; I took paper from the top of your filing cabinet & put it on the floor & found the watch that you had lost over 8 months ago”, I say. “Plus, if I wasn’t dating you, that is not a question I would ask, as it has ownership”? He shrugs again. I get up & go to the guest room & sleep. He is gone by the time; I am awake the next morning. I turn on my computer & there is an email from him, thanking me for our “Grand Finale”! “Fuck you”, says I!
It is Friday, so I do my Twitter Friday Follow, shower, dress, pack, check his house at least 10 times, that there is nothing of me left, then I pack the car. Go back to the office & write an #FF especially for him which went, A very special 3 #FF to @....... Then I pack up my lap top & leave. I smile driving away, as I know he won’t see what is coming…………I like to be subtle when I metaphorically hit you with a ton of bricks! Though it is something I have rarely done in my life.
I arrived home & turn on my computer, to find a thank you from him for my #FF. I reply, “@....... It was my pleasure #Sincerely 3. Then he texted me, “Please stop with the tweets especially the 3, bound to ask what’s that about? You trying to shaft me?" I replied, “Oh Yes …… it’s what U fu*king deserve! Payback you low life! I am taking huge pleasure in this”. He says via text, “You ok?”, I reply “I am wonderful, thank U 4 Ur concern. I hope U get what Ur due, Sincerely” Then I put this tweet out on Twitter, “ @....... It is what it is xxx as it was 3 times ;) …… just so as you know. He then sent this text, “Any trust I ever had, any faith I ever had, any admiration I ever had, in you died today”. (I did notice he didn’t write any love!) & I replied, “You’re about 6 months behind me!”. To which he replied, “Don’t ever contact me or my family again!” My last reply to him was, “Fu*k Off, You Fraud”. I felt good inside that I had gotten my own back on the fecker and he hadn't thought me capable of it! And I felt, at least she’d know he’d charm the skin off a snake & lie all the while he was doing so.
The next morning around eleven o clock I deleted the posts, as I felt it wasn’t fair to leave them up. I knew my behaviour was not honourable. I had walked away in August, in December, I could not collude with his lies. He had lied to me for 3 years, he even went so far as to accused me, for the last year & a half, that I was flirting on direct messages on Twitter. I never did in the 3 years we were together. What really peed me off was I know this stuff! I know that everything I say, do, feel & think is 100% about me and therefore that is true for every other human being. And when I tried to discuss this with him, he’d brush it off & change the subject. It was so bad at times, that the only way I was anyway sure I was getting the truth was to ask him for scouts honour, then I had some idea that some of what he said was true! Why did he lie so much? I honestly do not know, but what I do know is that he subtly blamed his ex for the break- up of his marriage. I no longer believe that! He likes to see himself as a victim, victims do not ever take responsibility for their behaviour or their actions! Yes, I know on a professional level that this is a defence. Today, I am not being professional! I could also go places here with you, about why I had put up with this for so long, suffice to know, I know why I did!
The next horrible thing to happen in December was this. My 86 year old aunt, was on her way to see her dying eldest son & while changing buses she slipped & fell, breaking a bone in her shoulder. Now this lady is difficult! None of her children have anything to do with her. Her son died before she got to see him, which I found very sad. On the day of his funeral, she says she has to get a taxi to the hospital as she is in agony. This is the first time she has done anything about her broken bone. My Dad gets a taxi organised to bring her back, as she doesn’t want to wait for me to collect her. My job in the meantime is to find her a nursing home, as I am her next of kin. Eventually the social worker finds one, I cannot! She stays in the nursing home, which she states she hates, for 4 weeks, but I need her to stay another 5 days, as then I can get her, with the help of her GP into the county hospital in the town where she lives. Those four weeks, were very difficult, trust me when I say this, because in truth, she does not want to stay there. The reality was, she was incapable of looking after herself! I gave her the option of complaining to the statuary body who govern nursing homes, if she could give me dates, names & times, she declined! She became very aggressive with me, to the point of shouting at me, which is behaviour, I will not accept. If someone shouts at me, I am not ever in a place to hear them! Anyway, two days before she said she would leave the nursing home, I had two meetings with her local public health nurse & about 4 phones calls with her GP, who all advised that she stay in the nursing home for another 5 days. That particular day, I happened to be working in the town she lives in and I went up to her house to put on the heating, in case her pipes would burst and I collected fresh clothes & her post for her. I also emptied her bin & fridge of food that was out of date and rotting! That evening after work, I went to see her & stood behind her in the nursing home while she was on the phone to a friend of hers. I was so taken aback by what I heard her say………….. She said “Patricia was in my house all day today & I don’t know why. She also wants me to stay here & I don’t know what her ulterior motive is”. I was shocked, as I had had to do my own days’ work as well as all the work I had put in for her & I had only been in her house for a half to ¾’s of an hour, plus the only motive I had, was that she was safe, as she was not in a place to look after herself. So………… I faced her and said to her, “Don’t ever lie about me again”, at which point she said goodbye to her pal on the phone. I said, it was me & nothing and now it is nothing, as I am washing my hands of you. The reality is, you are falling a lot, to which she replied, “Oh now you are telling me I am not corpus mentis” and I replied, “No, that is not what I am saying, however, you do forget you fall, but if you want to go home, then do, but I am washing my hands of you. At that point, I had had my fill of people who lie to me or about me. I spoke with the nurse while crying & left. This, trust me, is the short version of this story. I am no longer my aunt’s next of kin, nor do I have any desire to be either. Plus I was exhausted.
This is a new road I am taking btw. Prior to this, I would have forgiven the person who either lied to me or about me. I’m not making myself out to be a goody two shoes here, this truly was my reality. However, after my experience of your man the blood sucker and then my aunt, I sincerely had enough shite. I realise it isn't about forgiving them, this is about healing me.
To top this, my daughter was moving house, so I went up that very same week, to clean her house before she moved. Now when I say I clean, I seriously clean. (I reckon in a previous life, if there is such a thing, I was a char lady!) My sister joined me a few hours later & even though I was fatigued to my bones, I still cleaned. I was beyond exhaustion by the time my daughter & eventually her partner came home. My daughter’s partner is so passive aggressive & rude to me, it is mind boggling. In fact, my daughter’s partner is a bully. I then decided that night, that I just did not need to be in their company again. However, (And again, this is the short version), after thinking and discussing it with a pal of mine, I decided that if I did that, then I would be colluding with their bullying behaviour & that I will not do. So, while I will be in their company, I will have huge boundaries around myself & if my daughter’s partner tries to bully me again, I will name it! I cannot give in to this bullying behaviour, if I do, I collude with it and I will not collude! Also, I am important enough to me, not to allow this bully, bully me!
I wrote this blog in the hope that I would see what it is I need to learn here, because I do have a huge learning in all of this. All my life, I have acted & behaved in a most loving and forgiving manner. (Now I am getting emotional), I think I have always hoped that the people I love, would respond in kind to my loving forgiving kindness. In truth, they don’t! I was 50 this year and what I have learnt is this………… People who are indifferent to their own souls, DO NOT respond in kind to, loving & forgiving behaviour. Their need is to crush and to suck every ounce of giving you have in you & they do not give back. This has been my life experience, but it has taken me until now to see it!
Before Christmas I was so angry at the world, these people & God, but I sat with it. On Christmas eve eve, I had a very long conversation with my sister and she saw I was on the brink of cynicism, it is a place I do not want to go to. If I did, I knew, I would lose my essence. I do not want to lose how beautiful I am. So I teetered on the edge. Then on Christmas eve, I woke early at 6 a.m. with a sore throat & I sat with all of this, I knew I was still very angry and that I felt huge loss and grief for the wrong that I felt was done to me. My sore throat indicated to me that I was not speaking my truth. On Christmas eve, I had a huge need to go to confession. I did go & I told the priest about my behaviour with my ex boy-friend. I had behaved badly. Christmas day & Stephens day were lovely & that night, I drove home & woke the next day vomiting & I ached from head to toe. Yesterday, I went to the doctor, as I have a chest infection, which equals loss & grief. I spent a good deal of yesterday screaming out loud, on my own, here at home. I know it sounds mad, but it isn’t, my truth is it's a healthy thing to do. I am not hurting anyone, not even myself, but I am getting my anger & frustration out in a safe way for me. Try it sometime, even when you are driving alone, in my experience it works. My cough is not as bad today!
What I have realised in writing this, is this…………… I have stood up for myself, albeit, awkwardly! I am not used to taking such a significant stand with anyone, ever. In a three week period, I had three people I needed to stand up to and to own my own truth. Physically this has taken its toll on my body. However, the body, I believe is never wrong, it mirrors for us what is going on for us on the inside & our behaviour shows this on the outside & it shows in our health or the lack thereof. My lesson is to take positive action for me and mostly, love me, because I am so worth loving! Plus I now know when I see a blood sucker, they are not for me! They won’t even get one chance. Also, I had created an illusion & judged this man & my aunt on my own values & standards, when in truth, that simply was not true for them. Also, I can only rescue me!
This has been and is painful for me. However, if it wasn’t painful, I would not listen & nor would I have taken heed and the time to learn what I needed to learn from these experiences, because what arises in me, is about me. Sometimes, life throws me tough lessons, these I experienced as tough.
"Life doesn't give you the people you want, it gives you the people you need, to love you, to hate you, to make you, to break you & to make you the person you were meant to be......"
Roll on four months, I meet him and as he hugs me in my car, he opens my bra too! I was not impressed. It reminds me, he has no boundaries, so after a number of expletives, I calm down. He went his way & I went mine, an hour later, I receive a text to say he left his Bluetooth in my car! How & where? I’m briefly confused, and then realise, this is his way, and he reminds me of the plant that catch’s flies. Later we meet & the last thing he says is, “We could fix this you know, if we worked hard at it”. I drive away.
Three days later, I am in his home. We have dinner & drinks, I cried a lot about the shitty ending we had and the hurt I felt. It really is the most I have cried since August! I ask him if he sees her, “About once a month”, he says, “But I don’t want a relationship with her & she doesn’t want one with me”. So I say, “You’re not dating then”? “No”, he says. So I go to the guest room & he follows, his love making is so familiar. The next morning we are intimate again & he goes to work. He comes home and we eat, but he isn’t sparking. He says, she says, “If you make love with her, I will be hurt”, so he says to me, “Think I’ll stick with plan A”. I didn’t need to ask what plan A is, he was going to lie to her and or, already had.
I had a meeting, so I went to do that. When it was over, a half an hour later, he went to his bed. Soon afterwards, I crept in silently to get my slippers. Creeping back out of his room, he sits up & starts chatting. “I thought you were asleep”, I say. “No”, he says. I then asked what he meant by the last thing he said last Sunday, he says, I didn’t mean anything by it”. So I ask him, "Why say it then?” and he just shrugs. I walk out of the room & go downstairs to make a phone call. Then I go to the office & spend time there and as it is time for bed, I head off to the main bathroom to take my make up off & brush my teeth, as you do. When I am almost finished, he comes in to the main bathroom, ignoring his en suite & uses the lavatory. After he washes his hands, he takes my hand and brings me to his bedroom. We make love again. But the smell of sex from his sheets is vile. Afterwards, he says, “She wanted to know why you were rooting today.” “I don’t root; I took paper from the top of your filing cabinet & put it on the floor & found the watch that you had lost over 8 months ago”, I say. “Plus, if I wasn’t dating you, that is not a question I would ask, as it has ownership”? He shrugs again. I get up & go to the guest room & sleep. He is gone by the time; I am awake the next morning. I turn on my computer & there is an email from him, thanking me for our “Grand Finale”! “Fuck you”, says I!
It is Friday, so I do my Twitter Friday Follow, shower, dress, pack, check his house at least 10 times, that there is nothing of me left, then I pack the car. Go back to the office & write an #FF especially for him which went, A very special 3 #FF to @....... Then I pack up my lap top & leave. I smile driving away, as I know he won’t see what is coming…………I like to be subtle when I metaphorically hit you with a ton of bricks! Though it is something I have rarely done in my life.
I arrived home & turn on my computer, to find a thank you from him for my #FF. I reply, “@....... It was my pleasure #Sincerely 3. Then he texted me, “Please stop with the tweets especially the 3, bound to ask what’s that about? You trying to shaft me?" I replied, “Oh Yes …… it’s what U fu*king deserve! Payback you low life! I am taking huge pleasure in this”. He says via text, “You ok?”, I reply “I am wonderful, thank U 4 Ur concern. I hope U get what Ur due, Sincerely” Then I put this tweet out on Twitter, “ @....... It is what it is xxx as it was 3 times ;) …… just so as you know. He then sent this text, “Any trust I ever had, any faith I ever had, any admiration I ever had, in you died today”. (I did notice he didn’t write any love!) & I replied, “You’re about 6 months behind me!”. To which he replied, “Don’t ever contact me or my family again!” My last reply to him was, “Fu*k Off, You Fraud”. I felt good inside that I had gotten my own back on the fecker and he hadn't thought me capable of it! And I felt, at least she’d know he’d charm the skin off a snake & lie all the while he was doing so.
The next morning around eleven o clock I deleted the posts, as I felt it wasn’t fair to leave them up. I knew my behaviour was not honourable. I had walked away in August, in December, I could not collude with his lies. He had lied to me for 3 years, he even went so far as to accused me, for the last year & a half, that I was flirting on direct messages on Twitter. I never did in the 3 years we were together. What really peed me off was I know this stuff! I know that everything I say, do, feel & think is 100% about me and therefore that is true for every other human being. And when I tried to discuss this with him, he’d brush it off & change the subject. It was so bad at times, that the only way I was anyway sure I was getting the truth was to ask him for scouts honour, then I had some idea that some of what he said was true! Why did he lie so much? I honestly do not know, but what I do know is that he subtly blamed his ex for the break- up of his marriage. I no longer believe that! He likes to see himself as a victim, victims do not ever take responsibility for their behaviour or their actions! Yes, I know on a professional level that this is a defence. Today, I am not being professional! I could also go places here with you, about why I had put up with this for so long, suffice to know, I know why I did!
The next horrible thing to happen in December was this. My 86 year old aunt, was on her way to see her dying eldest son & while changing buses she slipped & fell, breaking a bone in her shoulder. Now this lady is difficult! None of her children have anything to do with her. Her son died before she got to see him, which I found very sad. On the day of his funeral, she says she has to get a taxi to the hospital as she is in agony. This is the first time she has done anything about her broken bone. My Dad gets a taxi organised to bring her back, as she doesn’t want to wait for me to collect her. My job in the meantime is to find her a nursing home, as I am her next of kin. Eventually the social worker finds one, I cannot! She stays in the nursing home, which she states she hates, for 4 weeks, but I need her to stay another 5 days, as then I can get her, with the help of her GP into the county hospital in the town where she lives. Those four weeks, were very difficult, trust me when I say this, because in truth, she does not want to stay there. The reality was, she was incapable of looking after herself! I gave her the option of complaining to the statuary body who govern nursing homes, if she could give me dates, names & times, she declined! She became very aggressive with me, to the point of shouting at me, which is behaviour, I will not accept. If someone shouts at me, I am not ever in a place to hear them! Anyway, two days before she said she would leave the nursing home, I had two meetings with her local public health nurse & about 4 phones calls with her GP, who all advised that she stay in the nursing home for another 5 days. That particular day, I happened to be working in the town she lives in and I went up to her house to put on the heating, in case her pipes would burst and I collected fresh clothes & her post for her. I also emptied her bin & fridge of food that was out of date and rotting! That evening after work, I went to see her & stood behind her in the nursing home while she was on the phone to a friend of hers. I was so taken aback by what I heard her say………….. She said “Patricia was in my house all day today & I don’t know why. She also wants me to stay here & I don’t know what her ulterior motive is”. I was shocked, as I had had to do my own days’ work as well as all the work I had put in for her & I had only been in her house for a half to ¾’s of an hour, plus the only motive I had, was that she was safe, as she was not in a place to look after herself. So………… I faced her and said to her, “Don’t ever lie about me again”, at which point she said goodbye to her pal on the phone. I said, it was me & nothing and now it is nothing, as I am washing my hands of you. The reality is, you are falling a lot, to which she replied, “Oh now you are telling me I am not corpus mentis” and I replied, “No, that is not what I am saying, however, you do forget you fall, but if you want to go home, then do, but I am washing my hands of you. At that point, I had had my fill of people who lie to me or about me. I spoke with the nurse while crying & left. This, trust me, is the short version of this story. I am no longer my aunt’s next of kin, nor do I have any desire to be either. Plus I was exhausted.
This is a new road I am taking btw. Prior to this, I would have forgiven the person who either lied to me or about me. I’m not making myself out to be a goody two shoes here, this truly was my reality. However, after my experience of your man the blood sucker and then my aunt, I sincerely had enough shite. I realise it isn't about forgiving them, this is about healing me.
To top this, my daughter was moving house, so I went up that very same week, to clean her house before she moved. Now when I say I clean, I seriously clean. (I reckon in a previous life, if there is such a thing, I was a char lady!) My sister joined me a few hours later & even though I was fatigued to my bones, I still cleaned. I was beyond exhaustion by the time my daughter & eventually her partner came home. My daughter’s partner is so passive aggressive & rude to me, it is mind boggling. In fact, my daughter’s partner is a bully. I then decided that night, that I just did not need to be in their company again. However, (And again, this is the short version), after thinking and discussing it with a pal of mine, I decided that if I did that, then I would be colluding with their bullying behaviour & that I will not do. So, while I will be in their company, I will have huge boundaries around myself & if my daughter’s partner tries to bully me again, I will name it! I cannot give in to this bullying behaviour, if I do, I collude with it and I will not collude! Also, I am important enough to me, not to allow this bully, bully me!
I wrote this blog in the hope that I would see what it is I need to learn here, because I do have a huge learning in all of this. All my life, I have acted & behaved in a most loving and forgiving manner. (Now I am getting emotional), I think I have always hoped that the people I love, would respond in kind to my loving forgiving kindness. In truth, they don’t! I was 50 this year and what I have learnt is this………… People who are indifferent to their own souls, DO NOT respond in kind to, loving & forgiving behaviour. Their need is to crush and to suck every ounce of giving you have in you & they do not give back. This has been my life experience, but it has taken me until now to see it!
Before Christmas I was so angry at the world, these people & God, but I sat with it. On Christmas eve eve, I had a very long conversation with my sister and she saw I was on the brink of cynicism, it is a place I do not want to go to. If I did, I knew, I would lose my essence. I do not want to lose how beautiful I am. So I teetered on the edge. Then on Christmas eve, I woke early at 6 a.m. with a sore throat & I sat with all of this, I knew I was still very angry and that I felt huge loss and grief for the wrong that I felt was done to me. My sore throat indicated to me that I was not speaking my truth. On Christmas eve, I had a huge need to go to confession. I did go & I told the priest about my behaviour with my ex boy-friend. I had behaved badly. Christmas day & Stephens day were lovely & that night, I drove home & woke the next day vomiting & I ached from head to toe. Yesterday, I went to the doctor, as I have a chest infection, which equals loss & grief. I spent a good deal of yesterday screaming out loud, on my own, here at home. I know it sounds mad, but it isn’t, my truth is it's a healthy thing to do. I am not hurting anyone, not even myself, but I am getting my anger & frustration out in a safe way for me. Try it sometime, even when you are driving alone, in my experience it works. My cough is not as bad today!
What I have realised in writing this, is this…………… I have stood up for myself, albeit, awkwardly! I am not used to taking such a significant stand with anyone, ever. In a three week period, I had three people I needed to stand up to and to own my own truth. Physically this has taken its toll on my body. However, the body, I believe is never wrong, it mirrors for us what is going on for us on the inside & our behaviour shows this on the outside & it shows in our health or the lack thereof. My lesson is to take positive action for me and mostly, love me, because I am so worth loving! Plus I now know when I see a blood sucker, they are not for me! They won’t even get one chance. Also, I had created an illusion & judged this man & my aunt on my own values & standards, when in truth, that simply was not true for them. Also, I can only rescue me!
This has been and is painful for me. However, if it wasn’t painful, I would not listen & nor would I have taken heed and the time to learn what I needed to learn from these experiences, because what arises in me, is about me. Sometimes, life throws me tough lessons, these I experienced as tough.
"Life doesn't give you the people you want, it gives you the people you need, to love you, to hate you, to make you, to break you & to make you the person you were meant to be......"
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Email to Enda ..... Please wake up to the reality of what is happening Enda
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4JIpboy4bA&feature=share
http://beyondcollapse.wordpress.com/2011/12/13/iceland-cbc-interview-with-president-olafur-grimmson-transcript-janet-eaton/
Enda,
Why do you have Goldman Sachs as advisors?
One day, the truth will be forced upon you & all politicians.
Why not wake up now?
Why are you causing your fellow man, woman & child such financial hardship with all your austerity measures?
When will you know & realise that HUMAN BEINGS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY?
Just look at these two links, there are hundreds more like these.
Human beings are waking up, nothing will stop this, because truth will always out.
Where is your humanity?
Where is your compassion?
Where is your love of self?
If I don’t speak up, I am as guilty as you. I cannot be silent.
May the love of God reach your heart this Christmas time.
Trich
Here is FG's response to my email.............19/12/11
taoiseach@taoiseach.gov.ie;
Dear Trich
Thank you for your email.
The Party is grateful to everybody who takes the time to get in touch
and takes seriously your concerns.
Fine Gael in Government is working hard to build a better Ireland. We
welcome all communication which assists us in our task and have noted
your concerns.
I have forwarded your email to the Office of An Taoiseach, Enda Kenny
TD.
Regards,
Vincent Gribbin
Head of Internal Communication
Fine Gael Headquarters
51 Uppr Mount St, Dublin 2
01-6198422
The Taoiseach's office response is...........
Dear Ms. Trich
I wish to acknowledge receipt of your email of 19 December, 2011 which will
be brought to the Taoiseach's attention as soon as possible.
Yours sincerely,
David King
Assistant Private Secretary
to the Taoiseach
Telephone: 01-6194020
E-mail: privateoffice@taoiseach.gov.ie
Do you think I will hear from Enda himself?
http://beyondcollapse.wordpress.com/2011/12/13/iceland-cbc-interview-with-president-olafur-grimmson-transcript-janet-eaton/
Enda,
Why do you have Goldman Sachs as advisors?
One day, the truth will be forced upon you & all politicians.
Why not wake up now?
Why are you causing your fellow man, woman & child such financial hardship with all your austerity measures?
When will you know & realise that HUMAN BEINGS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY?
Just look at these two links, there are hundreds more like these.
Human beings are waking up, nothing will stop this, because truth will always out.
Where is your humanity?
Where is your compassion?
Where is your love of self?
If I don’t speak up, I am as guilty as you. I cannot be silent.
May the love of God reach your heart this Christmas time.
Trich
Here is FG's response to my email.............19/12/11
taoiseach@taoiseach.gov.ie
Dear Trich
Thank you for your email.
The Party is grateful to everybody who takes the time to get in touch
and takes seriously your concerns.
Fine Gael in Government is working hard to build a better Ireland. We
welcome all communication which assists us in our task and have noted
your concerns.
I have forwarded your email to the Office of An Taoiseach, Enda Kenny
TD.
Regards,
Vincent Gribbin
Head of Internal Communication
Fine Gael Headquarters
51 Uppr Mount St, Dublin 2
01-6198422
The Taoiseach's office response is...........
Dear Ms. Trich
I wish to acknowledge receipt of your email of 19 December, 2011 which will
be brought to the Taoiseach's attention as soon as possible.
Yours sincerely,
David King
Assistant Private Secretary
to the Taoiseach
Telephone: 01-6194020
E-mail: privateoffice@taoiseach.gov.ie
Do you think I will hear from Enda himself?
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