I decided to write a small piece tonight, mainly to take a break from studying. I have my final exams starting tomorrow to become a relationship mentor!! I am tired now, but I'd like to share a few gems of information that I have learned from my mentors over the past two years.
1. Everything I say, do, feel and think is 100% about me.
2. What arises in me, IS about me.
3. My lover/partner, (If I had one), is the guardian of my solitude.
These are the three most important things I have learned. I didn't believe the first two for a long time, however, over time, I saw them unfold in my reality and life. Listening to them, being still and absorbing them and basically watching them unfold showed me that they are my life truths.
More importantly, I learned what my core pain is, it is that I have known that the love that is there for me is conditional. Not in any malice way, because I truly believe that those who love me, love me. However, I too loved me conditionally. Now I am enabling me to love me unconditionally. Because it is my deepest desire to be loved unconditionally. So I am starting with self. No better place to start! I've realised that unless I love myself unconditionally I am not going to meet a partner whom I can love unconditionally and who loves me unconditionally.
My pain around being conditionally loved presented itself with a sharp slap, but it woke me up! I had wondered why I met guys and had loving but quite difficult moments with them in relationship, why wasn't it a bit easier, I asked myself. My truth, I didn't feel good enough to be loved unconditionally. Wham! That truth stung me! I then understood why I needed those relationships, I needed to wake up and see my own self defeating belief, which was, I didn't feel good enough to be loved unconditionally.
Truly, the only body I ever truly believed loved me unconditionally was God. I then realised that I too have a moral and ethical responsibility to myself to love me unconditionally. In so doing, I may teach my children through my action for self, to love themselves unconditionally and at a bonus level, "other people" may see that in me and in turn they may have the courage to love who they are unconditionally.
If I have any regret in my life it is this..............My children know I love them unconditionally, however, they do not love themselves unconditionally,WHY? Because I didn't love me unconditionally! Actions always speak louder than words!
I don't believe I need to say more here, other than the great Buddha who said, "You can travel the world over and come right back and know, YOU are the person MOST DESERVING OF YOUR LOVE"!
This is now my truth.
With love,
