Thursday, January 5, 2012

No, I am not following my Passion or Passions!

In my life I have been passionate about people in the main. Before my children arrived, I was passionate about radio, namely pirate radio and when the girls were in their mid teens, I went back to hospital radio for 5 years.

The longest passion I’ve had is writing, I was always writing. I practiced making my penmanship creative & unique to me. It is all of these things. I have many diaries since my teens & while the girls were growing up.

I was passionate about the girls Dad too................. But that was fado fado.

I suppose my greatest passions were and are my children, who are all grown up now & living their own lives. As nature intends I am not as involved in their lives as I once was and rightly so.

I am also passionate when I dance, but I don’t dance anymore! Dancing for me is the vertical expression of love making. Even if that is with myself, when I dance alone.

This morning, I opened my first email and read a reply from the author of a blog, I had commented on.

“Greg Canty commented on Are you following your passion?.

in response to irishminx:

Brilliant post Greg……

thanks for the positive feedback Trich - can I ask the question .... are you following your passion?”

What a challenging question to read first thing in the morning......... I honestly replied via email that no, I am not following my passion. In fact, I am not sure what my passion is anymore!
Hence this blog in an attempt to find out what is it I am passionate about. But first, I need to explore with you what I was and am passionate about in my life.

I am & always have been passionate about asking questions, it can drive other people nuts, but if I don’t understand something, my need is to seek to understand. So I question until I understand. Plus there are times, I won’t accept what someone else says and go off and find out for myself, much to those who love me, annoyance!

Honesty is another passion I have. In a world where honesty is not valued, this has often gotten me into trouble, which sounds paradoxical, doesn’t it! A lot of people do not like truth. But you know, lies hurt more than truth in my own experience. My motto is this, “I can deal with what I know; I cannot deal with what I don’t know.” Lies make me feel as though I am on quicksand & I am the one sinking & trust me, that is not a pleasant place to be.

As a child, I was passionate about God. I absolutely believe that my belief in God’s LOVE for me, is the main factor that kept me safe & sane. However, at the moment, I am going through what I can only describe as a barren phase, in that I am finding it quite difficult to pray. Mass is out of the question, I didn’t even go on Christmas day! Not that I am a regular mass goer, I am not. However, when I make the effort to go, I love Mass and receiving Holy Communion. I even love Confession! I absolutely believe in the power of prayer. When I was either 19 or 20, I went away for a weekend to look at being a nun! On the Sunday, the head Nun and a priest were giving us a talk, when I piped up with, “I don’t believe I can be a nun, as I know, I would want to have sex and not having it, seems a very bleak existence!” The priest replied, “Now I am glad you brought that up Trich”..... Needless to say, his response did not make a difference to me :) I do love God & I know he loves me unconditionally and that is not personal to me, as God loves us all unconditionally. I’ve just realised that maybe I am behaving like a rebellious teenager with God right now, in that, I want some sign from him/her of how much he/r loves me!! Jeez, I better ponder on this some more!


Believe it or not, there are time gaps when I write, as I go off to Twitter, facebook and look at my emails. So just believe me when I say, this actually happened near the end of me writing this blog please.

Well, looking at an email from a very new correspondent to me, a wee while ago, a gentle truth struck me. This guy has been sending me THE most beautiful photo’s for the past few days that he himself has taken. The guy has to have wonderfully beautiful eyes, as the absolute beauty, he captures in those photographs are stunning. I actually cried looking at these photographs last night and told him so in an email. Then he sent me two beautiful pieces of music that I hadn’t heard before. Both were musical pieces, one called Tender Devotion & the other....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFQQsu6VBYA

Just look at the conductor, it’s looks like he is making love to this music. :) I loved both pieces of music. Then in-between writing this, I’d wander off somewhere else & this lovely gentleman sent me another email. It was then I saw. (Now you may think I am mad, but this is my truth), I saw gently that this man was showing me and allowing me to hear beauty, in what he was sending me. God has many ways of showing us he loves us and one of those ways is the beautiful world he created for us. I was looking for a sign that God really did still love me & there it was, in the form of a kind man, whom I have not met, sending me beauty. Truly, I am in awe. (Say this gently please).

Now back to the original blog.....

Sometime later in my young life, I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want sex, however, I did want to make love with a man & I wanted him to make love with me. To this day, I still feel the same way, which makes one night stands rare in my life! ( I am human too ) :) I’ve had many offers of “Come on Trich, lets have a Fuck or a Shag”. This is THE greatest turn off for me and I smile & say NO Thanks! I don’t believe this is something that I am boasting about, by the way.

I do though, love to make love & if the object of my affection is a good kisser, WOW! Because I am a great kisser & I miss both when I am single. I love to tease & flirt, it builds anticipation in my head & man you cannot get a better aphrodisiac to my mind! It starts in the head with me :) The biggest single issue I have, is that there are so few men I am attracted to & if I am, they tend to be in a relationship thereby ending the attraction for me. :) I need to stop here, as I do intend to do a separate blog about sex & sexuality some day..................

Suffice to say, I am passionate about making love.

At 18 years old, I discovered psychology and I believe it is what has helped & guided me throughout my life. Psychology seeks to understand human behaviour and many many years later, I learned that ALL behaviour is wise. Our own behaviour mirror’s for us, what is going on inside of us, if we only took heed. When you perceive a child to be bold, it isn’t that they wish to make your life difficult, rather it is, they are showing you, how difficult their life is for them! It makes sense really, when you think about it and if children do this, well you know, we are big children and the same applies to us. I could go on about psychology, because I do love it, but I am under pressure time wise now. Not only have I read a lot of psychology books, I have also spent 5 years studying it in both Maynooth College & UCC twice. Because I needed to heal me!

I am passionate about sharing good information too. (As all my friends, Twitter & facebook pals know!) This along with my asking questions & the fact that I am passionate about people brought me into the job I do now & have done since 1992. My job is to listen, to hear a person’s need, to ask copious questions & to give people sound advice and very often money. If I don’t know the answer to something, I’ll go and find out & later relay that information to that person. One of the most important aspects of my work, as I see it, is to enable people to help themselves. On the QT I will also bring in my relationship mentoring skills. It is quite often needed in the work I do. It is not something I broadcast; I tend to do it whenever the need arises and it does arise now more than ever before. However, the powers that be have changed a lot in our work, in the last number of years. Then about three & a half years ago, something major happened in work and it was after that, that I stopped listening to them. I may blog about this sometime soon! And while I still love doing clinics, I do not like the rest of my work anymore! And more especially since Troika have brain washed the majority of the “power heads”. But I won’t do political just now! Yep, that too is another blog ;)

I started this blog telling you I love radio & writing. I have three books on the go that I have not touched in about 5 or 6 years! When I write, it is such a natural high and I feel this too when my signature tune starts to play at the beginning of one of my radio shows. No matter how I feel before the radio show starts, when Bitter Sweet Samba by Herb Alpert starts playing, I am all buzzed up on a natural high.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LV50GNmTV6I

The picture is clear, isn’t it?

Plus, I’d love nothing more right now than to do a radio show on relationship mentoring. I think the world’s people need to hear, that THE most important relationship is with yourself & God. Every other relationship I have depends totally on the relationship I have with myself! My truth is this too, when I pray and have a close relationship with God, I am a happier being. I haven’t felt happy for about a month now & I miss it. Around the same time, I stopped praying!

My only ambition in life is this.......... I want to be who God made me to be. And I think I am not doing this.

Big changes ahead huh!

What a fecking challenge Greg!

And Georg, Thank you :)

4 comments:

  1. Passion is a beautiful energy, one that drives us beyond what's easy to achieve, to what we can achieve. And I know you are a passionate woman, Trich. And the world is a better place because of that. I hope more opportunities open up for you to communicate, because I see that as your greatest strength. And more opportunities to dance, because your body is as passionate as your mind. Peter

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  2. Wow - this girl knows what she is passionate about '

    You need to start following it Trich ?

    Greg x

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  3. Peter boy, shocking! I jest, but you are bold, but then I like bold ;) Thank you.


    Greg.......... Isn't that my challenge?
    I have ambidextrous feelings about you laying down the gauntlet to me! And worse, this is public!!!
    Help! :)

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  4. I found your bit on Psychology and your comments about 'bold' children very interesting. Also those books should be dusted down and read up-and circulated. I wrote a short story about my baby boy's horriffic birth in 1988. I would still like to publish but I feel that it is something from me. To me. I like your writing Trich. But I think you are wrong to rule out writing about politics. Looking forward to mor in Feb.

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